


I must be dreaming ('cuz I don't believe in ghosts)

by lemonpie



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Bullshit Demon Powers, Demon Shane Madej, Demon Summoning, Dubious Morality, Gen, Hedonism, Hornie Boi, Oblivious Ryan Bergara, References to Supernatural (TV), Well just 1 actually, kind of, thieves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 02:57:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16317815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonpie/pseuds/lemonpie
Summary: So. Ryan's best friend is an actual, literal demon. Like, hellfire and soul-stealing, the whole deal. That's a thing.Shane's just here to have a good time. It isn't his fault Ryan drew a devil's trap on the ground and forgot to tell him where it was.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grumpyface (ReedyReid)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReedyReid/gifts).



> title from jacob tillberg's 'Ghosts'  
> i wrote this after accidentally eating half a tide pod

So. 

Shane is a demon. 

That's a.  _Fun surprise._

Though, to be fair to Shane, who is a demon (no, Ryan still isn't over that!), he had hidden it surprisingly well, especially considering the kind of work that they did. And especially considering they'd visited a priest. Not even  _Ryan_ had an idea, though their fanbase was... Suspicious. Which is fair, because it turned out to be true. How crazy is that? 

On top of that, Shane can't even claim demons and ghosts aren't real any more, because he  _is one!_

It had been a total accident, too. 

\--

Ryan had just been setting up for their shoot, and he'd had the smart idea of spray painting a devil's trap on the ground. He'd then accidentally kicked a rug over it, and just... Forgotten. Which is why, when he calls Shane over to start filming, he just can't. 

He looks shaky, which is not a look Ryan associates with Shane at all, for reasons that now make much more sense. He's also shuffling awkwardly on his feet, which is again something Ryan has never seen Shane do. And then he crouches down and pulls the rug up to reveal the red edge of the trap. 

"Oh, yeah. I figured if there was a demon here, we'd be able to catch it with that." Ryan says, raising an eyebrow at him. "How'd you-"

"Can you get rid of it?"

That, too, is very strange. Shane is acting strange and Ryan doesn't like that. "Get rid of it? Why?" 

He makes as if to step across the bright red line, and then hesitates. 

And then.

It finally dawns on Ryan what exactly the issue is. 

" _No."_ He says. "Shane, this isn't funny!"

Though, of course, there was no way for Shane to have known he'd painted it unless he'd been watching, which Ryan knew Shane hadn't been because he hadn't said anything about it. Unless it was all a build up to this funny joke that absolutely isn't funny. 

"Ha, ha, yeah. Funny joke. C'mon, just get rid of it, we don't need it - because, you know. Demons don't exist."

"Then come over here and I'll get rid of it." 

Ryan suspiciously watches Shane grit his teeth. Shit. 

Shit! 

There's no way this is actually happening. "Shane, come on. Drop the joke, man, it's not funny."

"Yeah, I know." 

Shit.  _Shit._ This is actually a thing that's happening. "No. No!" 

His best friend has spent however long trying to convince him that ghosts and demons aren't real, only to turn around and get possessed by one. 

Shane is possessed. "How long have you been in him, demon?" He spits, angry suddenly. Shane raises his eyebrows. 

"Uh." He says smartly. "Ryan? I'm, uh. I'm not possessed, buddy." 

"Sure you aren't." 

(They stand there for a good two hours before Shane assents to letting Ryan splash him with holy water. It bubbles Shane's skin and Ryan might have literally shit himself.) 

\--

To be honest, it doesn't really effect them that much. Sometimes Ryan will remember exactly what is in the other bed and he'll have a minor panic attack, but Shane is just as Shane as always. 

The Hotdaga continues. They continue to visit haunted places, though Shane is even more blase about it than usual. Ryan continues to be scared out of his mind - but, off camera, he admits to Shane that his confession, forced as it was, helped. 

("Stop messing with the spirit box!"  
"I'm not it's just broken." _  
_ "You are!")

Life continues to happen, as it so often does. Shane's demonic... ness... Doesn't tend to come up in conversation much. Despite that, Ryan thinks about it constantly. How could he not? He's been trying to prove the existence of these things to Shane for ages, and then it turns out Shane  _is_ one? 

("Do you have a tail?"   
"Ryan, it's three in the morning, I  _swear to Lucifer."  
_ "You swear to  _who?!")_

It's.

Not as bad as Ryan thought it would be. Shane isn't trying to eat his soul or anything, not any more than he usually does, so... You know what?  
  


Ryan's actually fine with it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what im making this a series  
> fuck y'all

The thing about demons, Ryan quickly learns, is that they don't really have much in the way of morals. 

Or maybe that's just a Shane Thing, he hasn't quite figured that part out yet. 

Whatever it is, Shane's dubious moral compass is pretty much pointing all the way South. Not that he's the rape, pillage, steal kind of demon, no. He's maybe worse than that. 

Shane's just kind of an asshole. Even more so than usual, that is. Which is saying something, considering that Shane had  _already_ been kind of an asshole before that. But now it's just ridiculous. He gets them hotel rooms for free, gets them into places they usually would have no business being, and once, they get caught by a police officer (!?) while they're trespassing, and Shane, the absolute idiot, simply waves the officer away. 

And he goes! It's complete and utter bullshit and Ryan hates it. 

(At least, until, with a wiggle of his fingers, the woman who had been saying 'sorry, we don't do tours' had all of the sudden changed her mind. Then maybe it's fine.)

(Of course, the morality of the situation hits him and he makes Shane go back and apologize. After they finish filming.) 

But what he doesn't realize is that Shane is the reason the demons leave him alone. 

And when Shane isn't there - Well. It's a different story entirely.

\--

Shane hadn't given any indication that there was actually a demon. Then again, he never had before, and the cameras were on most of the time, so there wasn't much chance for him to look on edge. 

But eventually, he'd gone to 'get some air', which was a pretty good indication that there was a demon in the place. So... 

Ryan's sort of freaking out, but that's fine. Especially since their cameraman had also left to go and pick them up some pizza. 

And he's alone. In a house. Which has a demon in it.

But that's Fine. That's all good. Okay. The demon probably won't kill him, right?

... Right?

He laughs. A bit hysterically but it's fine. 

It's all good.

(Oh god he's going to die.)

But he's not freaking out or anything. He's not going to find Shane because he's scared. He's worried about his friend, that's all.

He doesn't actually get that far before something grabs his wrist. He throws the bottle of holy water he has at whatever it is and sprints away.  

Yeah, he's now totally freaking out.

(Good thing he's got Shane to calm him down, right?)

**Author's Note:**

> please comment i need it


End file.
